August 31, 2010

The White Flag

When my freshly washed and coiffed hair was plastered to the back of my sweaty neck at the start of the day, I knew that even though my secret lynx of a dress took me four tries to put on straight - I should have turned around and gone back home.

Me: I seem to have forgotten my ID at home today.
Lobby Lady: Oh sure - what floor are you on?
Me: Suite 1230; Company XYZ
Lobby Lady: Who are you here to see?
Me: I work at the company - suite 1230?
Lobby Lady: And what time were they expecting you?
Me: I am a full time employee in Suite 1230. I have forgotten my issued ID at home today.
Lobby Lady: And when did you start at XYZ?...


The information has been sent to you via a certified web address. Please Click Here to get to the friggen place that contains one dollar value of information that you asked for for nine months and we just didn't send because. Then follow the instructions to set up an account just to retrieve one value!!!

Login ID:
Reaffirm Password:
Word or Phrase as clue for Password:


Login ID: email address
Password: idiot
Reaffirm Password: idiot
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: what this program is

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Login ID: email address
Password: idiots
Reaffirm Password: idiots
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: what this program still is

We're sorry - you're password must contain at least 6 characters of alpha and numeric code.
Login ID: email address
Password: 1idiot
Reaffirm Password: 1idiot
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: what this program is ranked #1 as

We're sorry - you're password must contain 2 of the following 2 criteria. 1- Six to Eight characters of alpha or numeric code. 2 - It must amuse and delight us while making you fume in red until your face is the reflection of a blister stemming from in the body on out.
Login ID: email address
Password: IGiveUpYouAreTheMasterTimes1000000
Reaffirm Password: IGiveUpYouAreTheMasterTimes1000000
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: "schooled"

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August 30, 2010

Irrational Fears

There is always something that each and everyone of us has that is inexplicably creepy to us. And for some reason it makes our friends day when they hear about it. I have a close friend of mine that after a decade and a half of friendship it was revealed that she is terribly creeped out by toed socks. Feet Gloves. Or as one website titled it "the natural touch to earth". So when I saw this woman on the El wearing some variation of the below I nearly broke my neck trying to catch up to her to take a closer look (read: take a photo and send to said friend). Unfortunately the early commuters collectively conspired to keep me from my evil plot. I will admit that seeing the woman hustle down the stairs in these made me double take. Their supposed to be liberating and good for the soles but on some level they just look so wrong.

August 27, 2010

Friday Flight

It's gorgeous out. The sun is setting on the river banks in the prettiest shades that no fall fashion line can replicate. Everyone has a jovial temperament going on so I felt it apropos to post the below video. Something that would put bounce to anyone's step:

August 24, 2010


This season's infatuation with cross bodies has me muy muy contenta. It marries my love for large carryalls with a hip take on what could have been dubbed a book bag. When selecting one to - ahem - carry you through this season make sure that it has an appropriate drop length for your height. (Something I'm sure short people only think of). Drop length pertains to where the length of the strap drops the satchel to what region of your body. Cross body is very norm for styling just make sure your accompany outfit doesn't stress boobage in a gross strained fashion. I also am very partial to extremes. Either they are worn in leather or bold dramatic statement pieces. Here are some choices:

August 23, 2010

The Good Bad Smoothie

One of my favorite things to have in the summer months are fruit smoothies. I'm blessed by having easy access to various vendors who carry Asian bubble tea (with tapioca). Sometimes though, it may not be the taste of consistency that I'm craving. At which point I may turn to the American places like Jamba Juice for my go to Mango-a-go-go. Ever the changing tides, that too may not be what I'm looking for. Another option I have is my very own magic bullet which creates the perfect drink for me every time. Recipe is as follows:

1 carton of blueberry yogurt
Half a banana sliced
A small hand full of blueberries
A splash of Orange Juice (more juice means more liquid-fied smoothie) *
A splash of Milk (see note on juice) *
1 scoop of low fat frozen yogurt (I prefer Edy's slow churned)
4 cubes of ice

* clearly very technical recipe discoveries here

August 16, 2010

The Quest for leather shorts

Very recently I started to look seriously for an acceptable pair of leather shorts. My criteria's were non expensive, non hootchie, non ugly. I thought I had hit the head on the mark with these.

They were extremely marked down at Bergdorf's and the leather looked oh-so-soft. I was encouraged by the soft folds of the shorts coupled with the outside of norm crackled leather. But alas - upon their arrival I found they were not for me. The fabric jersey-like waist was very forgiving which normally is a good thing. Unfortunately they also made my extremely marked down pair too large for me. And not in an fashionable unkempt way but more in an adding on the illusion of more el bees. Also what I loved most (aside from the texture) was the rolled cuffs. However, this too schemed against me as it was not a mere one roll but what appeared to be several which was not for someone with short legs. So in the end beautiful Helmut went home. And I was despondent. As the quest for appropriate leather short's to wear with opaque tights and sky high wedges with a perfectly draped sweater top, under the militant anorak....continues.

August 13, 2010

Old Friends

This Friday, on the way back to the city, from a client meeting, on whim, I decided to check to see if my friends were free. I haven't gotten the chance to keep very good touch with them and since they moved across the state line my 411 on what they've been up to has been fairly nonexistent. So imagine my delight when they were free for a visit from they absentee friend of two years. Imagine my greater delight at how big their lovely daughter has gotten:

At less than one:

At three years:

I simply love random spur of the moment plan's don't you?

August 12, 2010

August 10, 2010

Bookclub Bookworm: The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho

A timeless story of the wanderlust that possesses a young man to pursue his destiny in a dreamlike state he calls everyday life. The protagonist, a shepard, is defined in life as unconventional. He doesn't heed the word of his father and builds a life around the flock he guards. In an epic meeting he is swayed to leave the life he has built to pursue another one that awaits him. On this journey the boy - identified as such for his changeling time in life in which he grows into the man he ultimately became - discovers new trade skills, the light and dark side of man and the strength of belief. This was a beautiful book that binds religion - without becoming preach-ish, spirituality without becoming too Oprah-ish and lessons learned without becoming too after school special-ish.

“Intuition is really a sudden immersion of the soul into the universal current of life.”

August 9, 2010

To Wedge or not to Wedge

...........that is the question.......

August 2, 2010

The mouse The chalkboard

Once upon a time, long ago when I was in fifth grade we had a class snake. It was gross. It was large. It was wonderful. I think we were supposed to learn about the living habits of a different creatures on earth or something to that effect (clearly the lesson took). Regardless, the snake lived on mouses. So I'm not quite sure how - but come its normal feeding time a little itty bitty white mouse was produced. So that the class could learn the eating habits of this reptile. Knowledge every fifth grader should have to pass to the sixth.
Well it wasn't quite clear if the snake liked the mouse live or as carcass. A democracy that we were - we voted on it. The mouse was going to be shot pre hanging.
Unsure how to quite do the deed and voters that we were, we decided one male should be designated hangman and bash the mouse against the chalkboard. Lam Phan was chosen. Six feet tall and an easy 150 - this furball did not stand a chance. Everyone was climbing on the top of their school chairs to get ringside seats. Lam's cheery round face - a gross contradiction to his role if there ever was one - was decorated with grey plastic thick lens, which he constantly kept pushing up his nose. Like constantly - I can still see him doing it now.
White mouse in white plastic bag...dangling from the wrist of this crowd pleaser executioner who strolls up to the chalkboard grinning. Winding up the bag as if to throw a grand slam  - Lam whaps the mouse against the chalkboard and the walks.literally.shook.
The boys in the class go CRAZY. You would have thought it was Ali in the ring. At the time I didn't have any earth shattering epiphany or anything. I know I thought there was something a bit bizarre situation. But -

Turns out.

Reptiles like 'em raw.

Tonight I thought of this event. And the words of a message I've seen past filtered through my head (slightly altered here for relevance)....

"Some days you're the mouse and some days you're the chalkboard."