The White Flag

When my freshly washed and coiffed hair was plastered to the back of my sweaty neck at the start of the day, I knew that even though my secret lynx of a dress took me four tries to put on straight - I should have turned around and gone back home.

Me: I seem to have forgotten my ID at home today.
Lobby Lady: Oh sure - what floor are you on?
Me: Suite 1230; Company XYZ
Lobby Lady: Who are you here to see?
Me: I work at the company - suite 1230?
Lobby Lady: And what time were they expecting you?
Me: I am a full time employee in Suite 1230. I have forgotten my issued ID at home today.
Lobby Lady: And when did you start at XYZ?...

OR

 

The information has been sent to you via a certified web address. Please Click Here to get to the friggen place that contains one dollar value of information that you asked for for nine months and we just didn't send because. Then follow the instructions to set up an account just to retrieve one value!!!

Login ID:
Password:
Reaffirm Password:
Word or Phrase as clue for Password:

OK....

Login ID: email address
Password: idiot
Reaffirm Password: idiot
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: what this program is

We're sorry - you're password must contain at least 6 characters
Login ID: email address
Password: idiots
Reaffirm Password: idiots
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: what this program still is

We're sorry - you're password must contain at least 6 characters of alpha and numeric code.
Login ID: email address
Password: 1idiot
Reaffirm Password: 1idiot
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: what this program is ranked #1 as

We're sorry - you're password must contain 2 of the following 2 criteria. 1- Six to Eight characters of alpha or numeric code. 2 - It must amuse and delight us while making you fume in red until your face is the reflection of a blister stemming from in the body on out.
Login ID: email address
Password: IGiveUpYouAreTheMasterTimes1000000
Reaffirm Password: IGiveUpYouAreTheMasterTimes1000000
Word or Phrase as clue for Password: "schooled"

We're sorry - your session has timed out.