When are you comin' to pick up your chicks?

Ever have an event in your day where at the end of it you were like - whhhattt?

Enter my day.

So it was fairly normal work from home day. I was making some progress when I decided to stop and visit my grandma. She and I were having a pleasant time chatting when there was a ring of the phone. No one uses the land line since they everyone in my family knows how to get in contact with each other via cell (my grandma has a cell and whenever I find out who programmed my number as speed dial #4 on it they will be made to pay) The land line is there merely for the Internet I think. Anyways - the phone is very old and not in the best condition. I pick up

"Hello?"
"Is this the home of {insert our residence address here} ?"
"Why?"
"Well is this {repeat address}?"
"Who's this?"
"The is the United States Post Office"
"May I help you?"
"Yeah - you need to come and pick up your chickens"

Click.

Raised in the city, I was not in the mood to be pranked or harassed. Until the phone rang again with a woman on the line. An aggressive sure of herself type of woman. She claimed that the chickens I ordered - excuse me, the chicks I ordered - needed to be picked up. Given the age and quality of the phone I said something to the likes of "I'm sorry, but I could have sworn you told me to come pick up my chicks." She confirmed.

Now I have ordered alot of things online but I am positive I have never ordered chickens. I have also inadvertently ordered some items internationally but I am fairly certain none of them marketed poultry. Reassured by the open tone in my voice the woman told me that there was a box of chicks at their post office that has been waiting to be picked up for a couple of days. She was worried about them because they hadn't had food or water in those few days and she didn't want them to get hurt. I'm no animal hater and I actually have raised a chicken before ('nuther story) but I was waiting for her to clue me in on why this was my problem. She said the box had my family's name on it (last not first) and they have given several notices for it to be delivered. I guess the level of confusion simply overpowered me...I laughed and laughed and laughed. Hard.
Here I was. Anxiously awaiting my Jeffrey Campbell booties, my large Topshop order, my fun Forever21 tops and here they were - offering me chicks. I guess my laughter was infectious cause the lady started and could not stop as well. She did, after awhile, cut us off short with a "This is serrrioussss (drawn out in a 15 year old voice trying to convince her parents for new kicks). They haven't had anything to eat or drink. They could be suffocating. They're probably malnourished by now!"

And off I started again.

When I calmed down, we resolved that someone was expecting these and had come looking for them on Monday. They mentioned him being a young man and in my Angela Lansberry kind of way I deduced my freak of a brother must have sent away for them. So like any other sibling used to conflict and resolution - I called my parents to tell them that their freak of a son sent away for some chicks to be delivered form Missouri and they better do something about him. And the chicks. Well when I called my dad and he heard that the post office was calling in a frantic about these chickens (at this point everyone involved failed to maintain the distinction), he asked:

"They alive?"

And I guess all the confusion and multiple phone calls caught up with me because I answered "What difference does it make - did you send away for some comatose chicks?" To which my ftaher replied "OK, OK I'll go pick them up".

The End.